Total Fan Girl

Shaun of the Dead, Zombies and Twinkies

2010-03-09T23:22:00.000-05:00

I love getting scared at the movies. Not so badly that I can't sleep for a month (I Am Legend) but just enough so that I am tempted to leave an extra light on when I go to bed for a few nights. And I'm particularly fond of zombie movies. I love seeing how everyone is either going to save themselves or be bitten and have to choose between being a zombie or ending it all with a shotgun.

Awhile back on The D6 Generation podcast, I got into a discussion of what one needs to do to survive the zombie apocalypse and what kinds of folks I'd want on my team. This led to quite the thread on Facebook with people stating their cases for why they should be invited to my Zombie Compound. If your're wondering, current and ex-military, especially Navy Seals and Army Rangers, were at the top of the list. Also scientists to help discover a cure and a pilot to fly a helicopter and pick up key personnel who were unable to make it to the compound before things got really, really bad.

While looking at movies on Netflix I realized my zombie education was sorely lacking as I had missed a movie that I really should have seen years ago. It was a serious problem if I wanted to maintain any geek cred at all so I rented Shaun of the Dead. I know, I have no excuse but now that I've seen it, I have amended my list of necessary personnel to include at least one cricket player.

Last night, I furthered my education watching a movie that is considerably more current, Zombieland. If you have not seen this, stop reading and go watch it now. Okay, ready? Best Zombie Movie Ever! Yea, go ahead and argue with me, but this movie was hilarious. There's a list of rules that actually make sense, and the girls completely outsmart the guys until they eventually need to be rescued, and there's a quest for Twinkies!

Today my zombie-fighting education took a completely unexpected turn. You see, I just started taking Tae Kwon Do and tonight we did something they called Zombie Drills. I am not kidding. I had a black belt teaching me how to defend myself against the hordes. So, despite being short one cricket player, I am now totally ready for the Zombie Apocalypse.

Geek Moms Unite!

2010-03-02T00:00:00.008-05:00

by @NicoleWakelin

cross posted on geekgirlsnetwork.com

Geek Dads are everywhere and they're easy to spot. They're the ones playing games or maybe talking about Star Wars or Star Trek while other guys are talking sports. They know all the Bakugan brawlers and can explain how best to play each and every one but they probably don't have a Fantasy Football team.

They insert awesome geek references into everyday conversations and other geek dads smile and nod their approval. And they aren't afraid to have fun at the expense of their own dignity.

Give your average bunch of geek dads a room full of kids wielding plastic lightsabers and you're going to have a room full of kids running to their moms to make their dads give back those lightsabers.

But what about Geek Moms?

I am a Geek Mom. I would try to steal a lightsaber for myself and then happily duel in the living room until nearly taking out the chandelier at which point I'd return the lightsaber to it's rightful owner. This type of thing has happened to me more than once and always with the same result.

First, it outs me to any moms that didn't already know I was a geek. Second, it outs me to any dads that didn't already know I was a geek, which is good because I now have instant Geek Cred. Lightsaber duels will do that for you. I can then hang out with the geek dads instead of returning to the moms and their discussions of DWTS (Dancing with the Stars, yeah, I had no idea either) and American Idol.

But the best part of this usually plays out a few days later.

I might be at the grocery store or maybe waiting in front of the school to pick up my kids when one of the moms who witnessed the lightsaber duel says hello and makes a comment that instantly outs her as what I like to call a Geek Mom in Hiding. You see, it's okay to be a geek dad. You've got your own little circle in which you happily travel and the world is right. Not so for the geek mom. It is not cool to know all the characters in Star Wars, or to admit that you get the geek references the dads made the other day. Baking cupcakes for the PTO and playing in an MMO just don't go together.

But the more often I let my geek flag fly, the more I find Geek Moms in Hiding.

And you know what? There are a lot more of us out there than anyone suspects. The problem is that too many moms are afraid to release their inner geek. It can be hard to reconcile being a mom with being a geek.

So here's my suggestion. Let it go. You can be a mom and a geek and that's a good thing. It's fun! You will find out that you're not the only geek in the PTO and, I assure you, that the room full of second graders you just baked cupcakes for will think it is absolutely awesome that you can talk like Yoda.

PAX East Proves Geeks Should Rule the World

2010-02-24T14:32:00.000-05:00

Today, I spent some time browsing through my favorite forums. There are lots of sites that I frequent for content, but only a few on which I take the time to read the forums because although forums are a wonderful place for interesting discussion they also tend to be a wonderful place for completely useless chatter. One forum that I've been lurking on a lot lately is PAX East because it's only about a month away and I am ridiculously excited. Every day there's some new tidbit that makes me jump up and down and nearly spill my coffee. (Wil Wheaton! Jonathan Coulton! Yippee!)

First, I found a list of boardgames that will be available for play and was happy to see many of my favorites, though no Star Wars Epic Duels. I don't care that it's out of print or that it's only for ages 8 and up. The game is fun people! I also had a good laugh reading about how first time visitors think they're going to get around in Boston. Then amid all the fun and happy I found a post that was so annoying and bullheaded it made me want to scream. A guy I will now call Persistent Geek was being critical of how the folks at PAX run their show.

I know everyone has an opinion and that it's impossible for people to always agree. Just imagine how boring your average tabletop game would be without rules debates. "You don't have line of sight." "Yes, I do." "Oh, my bad. Your Space Marines can surely see right around that corner. Take the shot." It would be awful. So it wasn't that Persistent Geek had an unpopular opinion, but that he was so single-minded in his defense of that opinion. Most everyone disagreed with him and some were none too nice in their rebuttals while others had thoughtful responses to counter his original statements. Didn't matter. Through it all Persistent Geek stayed the course, not altering his original statements an iota. After getting past my initial reaction I suddenly realized that this thread was the key to, well, everything.

Imagine a world run by geeks. Conference rooms would be full of people wearing The Official Geek Uniform of cool tee shirts while eating fast food and drinking highly caffeinated beverages. Wars would never happen because there'd be at least one Persistent Geek in the room and he'd never agree on where and when to fire the first shot. Natural disaster? No problem. Get some MacGyver Geeks on that and give them a little duct tape and they'd have the place looking great again in no time. Big project with limited funds? Find yourself a Gamer Geek because those guys know how to work every angle and get the best possible deal. Computer Geeks to optimize the internets. Scifi Geeks to dream up the next big thing. Tech Geeks to actually build it. Think of the possibilities!

Now if we could all just agree on how to get this plan going...aw, forget it. That'll never happen.

Asari, Na'vi, Mystique, Why So Blue?

2010-02-17T21:20:00.001-05:00

I'm watching Russ play Mass Effect 2 as he doesn't want to "fall behind" in his gameplay. How do you fall behind on a game that doesn't have a deadline? He's not Cinderella and this isn't a ball so I'm pretty sure the disk isn't going to turn into a pumpkin at midnight. Heh, that would be funny. "Pumpkin Morphing Imminent! Save Game!" But since as far as I know this game is not pumpkin-equipped, Russ will play it until his vision blurs. Currently, I am watching Shepard have a nice chat with an Asari and I find myself wondering, what is it with being blue?

Think about it for a second. First, you've got the Asari, sexy blue aliens that all look like women and have psychic sex. Then there are Avatar's Na'vi who are giant, scantily clad, blue aliens that mind meld with horses and trees and each other through funky tendrils in their hair. And of course there are characters like Mystique (X-Men) and Zhaan (Farscape) and a list that just goes on from there. I get the sexy aliens/mutants but I cannot figure out why blue is always the color of choice.

Why not green? Captain Kirk was all about green-skinned Orions so they can't be all bad. And what's wrong with red? The closest thing to sexy red aliens that I can think of are the Cylons whose spines glow red during the heat of the moment and that only kinda counts since most of the time they look just like humans. What about yellow? Or orange? There is no love for the other colors of the rainbow. I don't think I'm going to figure out the answer to this one, although I imagine that somewhere there's a guy with charts and graphs and reams of paper that prove why blue is the best color for sexy aliens. Until I find that guy, I'll just have to file this away with the other great mystery of the universe....men in kilts at conventions.

Geeks With Heart Haiti Response

2010-02-14T10:24:00.002-05:00

Today, while you're in the lovin' mood, why not share your big geek heart with others.

Geek Girls Network™ & Geeky Clean have created a fundraiser to support the Haiti Relief called Geeks With Heart.

Through Mercy Corp, Geeks With Heart has a fundraising goal of $2500 and there’s no minimum for donations. If you can spare just one special cup of coffee, an iTunes download, or a crispy chicken sandwich, donate to Haiti instead. Show Haiti why geeks have heart!

As extra incentive, and not that you need any, once Geeks With Heart reaches $2500, all who donated will have the chance to win a prize from an amazing grab bag of geek prizes!

So donate, tweet it up, put a badge on your website, and tell all your friends and family. Thanks!

Geeks With Heart: http://www.mercycorps.org/fundraising/geekgirls

Mass Effect 2 My Favorite Game And I Don't Even Play

2010-02-10T22:39:00.001-05:00

I like to play all sorts of games but I definitely do not qualify as a Gamer. I've played tabletop wargames like 40K but can't get into them enough to commit. Also, I don't paint very well so their eyes get very eeek-a-mouse huge and that just looks silly on a battlefield. My Xbox gamer score is an absolutely pitiful 750 but, personally, I think I don't get enough credit for my awesome RockBand skillz. Seriously, it's the one game I can play and despite hours on the drums my gamer score is awful. I should complain to someone. Major Nelson, maybe? Nah, I made fun of his name once so he'd probably just laugh at me.

I want to be able to play video games because they look so darn sweet, but the same thing happens every time I try. I struggle with the controller, get mad, jam down the buttons and end up waving it at the screen and sort of shaking it as though somehow that's going to make me look at the bad guy and shoot in the right direction. It doesn't. I end up continuing to look the wrong way, get lodged behind a pillar or a giant potted plant that I cannot see around and the bad guys blow me to bits. All this happens while my poor husband tries to calmly give me direction until I want to smack him. At which point I throw the controller at him and ~~scream~~ say "I am done!" and stomp away.

So, my husband spends hours playing games that I only occassionally check out. I've caught some great cut scenes, but nothing that's every pulled me into a game. But now he's playing Mass Effect 2 and I suddenly can't wait to see what happens next. I have not touched the controller and I am completely vested in what Shepard is going to do. Will he stop the Collectors? Is the Illusive Man a good guy or a bad guy? What is up with Subject Zero? BioWare has managed to create an RPG that is interesting even when you don't hold the controller. I do help him hack some computers (no controller required for me) and try to keep him from going totally Renegade, but otherwise I'm just an observer. Ohhh, he's about to take on a Geth Collusus! This is gonna be good.

Caprica, Just a Frakkin' Excuse

2010-02-03T23:15:00.001-05:00

I watched the original Battlestar Galactica back when Starbuck was a guy who smoked cigars. I was loyal through Galactica 1980 whose only possible redeeming quality was flying motorcycles. And I watched the most recent incarnation on SyFy and was left confused, sad, and a bit unfulfilled by the ending. So, of course, I am currently watching Caprica. It's still early, but so far the story is interesting and the characters are intriquing. Everyone is fighting personal demons so there is plenty of emotional turmoil. There's also a house robot/butler/security guard that is very cool. My problem is that it doesn't feel like this show really needs to be set in the Battlestar Galactica universe, which makes me wonder...is this just an excuse to say frak?

Frak first appeared in the original series as frack but was changed so it could officially be a four letter word. It's fantastic because you can say it and you're swearing without really swearing. It rolls right off the tongue just like what you can't say and although most people will look at you funny and think they didn't quite hear you, those in the know will smile and nod. Say it, and you feel like you've gotten away with something that only you and your fellow geeks understand. (Face it, if you've ever used frak, even once, you are a geek.)

There have been plenty of scifi swear words that have made their way into the geek lexicon over the years. Frell (Farscape) was a pretty good one and you'll still hear it at least a dozen times at your average con. And Gorram (Firefly) is still uttered by Browncoats everywhere. But as those shows fade into the past, so do their swears. Since Caprica feels like it could easily be on any generic planet of the future with any old bunch of humans, I am left with one answer as to why it's set in the Battlestar Galactica universe. It's all just a big frakkin' excuse to keep the coolest scifi swear ever from fading into oblivion. You got a frakkin' problem with that?

Star Trek Online Preview

2010-01-26T23:02:00.000-05:00

I was fortunate enough to play in the beta for Star Trek Online over the last month and just wrote a review for GeekGirlsNetwork. Wanna know what I thought? You can read the full review right here.

A Gamer, A Wife and A Broken Bowl

2010-01-20T23:02:00.001-05:00

Last weekend we headed over to a friend's house for dinner and Lego Rock Band. While helping her make some truly excellent pizza, I noticed a Christmas bowl still sitting on her kitchen counter. It was bright red with a cute little tree in the middle. I figured it had probably been left behind by a random guest and that leaving it on the counter increased the odds that it would be returned before next Christmas. Then I noticed it had a pretty big chip on the edge and that all the little chipped pieces were sitting neatly inside the bowl.

I asked her what had happened to this little red bowl and she pulled it out to show me that she had almost all the bits needed to put it back together, but not quite. It actually belonged to her Mom who put it on display every year, and it hadn't been left behind, but had been brought over in the hope that my friend's husband could do a little repair work. Because of the tiny missing pieces, even when you put the jigsaw of bits where they belonged, there were still bright patches of white ceramic showing through the red glaze. At about this time her husband wandered into the kitchen and she showed him the bowl. This is roughly how their conversation went...

"What? You want me to fix it?" he asked.

"Yes, but there are pieces missing so can you use that stuff?" she replied.

There was a brief pause while he considered her request and then he said, "You want me to use Green Stuff to fill in the missing pieces?"

"Yeah, and then you can paint it so it won't show!" she said.

He smiled, nodded, and turned back to the living room where Lego Rock Band beckoned. I don't know which was more impressive. The fact that she thought to call on her husband's mad modeling skills to fix a bowl, or that she had actually paid enough attention over the years to know that there was such a thing as Green Stuff in the first place. Either way, I think we should all remember this lesson. The next time your significant other spends a whole Saturday afternoon cutting, filing and attaching one arm to one little toy soldier, know that someday he may be all that stands between you and a set of mismatched dishes.

Geek Music or Jonathan Coulton Re:Your Brains

2010-01-11T20:57:00.001-05:00

I am obsessing over this song of late. I don't work in an office and there are no zombies in the neighborhood (that I know of) so I'm not sure why it's been stuck in my head for the last few days. I did have quite a lengthy discussion with some D6 Generation listeners about creating a zombie compound and who would be invited, but that was awhile back. Regardless, this is such a fun little ditty and it makes me smile as I hum the tune while driving the kids to school or waiting in line at the bank. And I just found out that Jonathan Coulton is going to be at PAX East in a few months and I'm hoping I will get to hear him play this live so I can scream out the chorus in my best zombie-voice. So, for your geeky listening pleasure....

Going All Marvin Martian over Vanity Fair Bashing Twitter Women

2010-01-07T10:41:00.002-05:00

Vanity Fair has made me very angry. Very angry indeed. It's all over the article America's Tweethearts which they recently published. It profiles women who have, according to the author, created fake fame she calls "twilebrity". Let this serve as notice that putting a tw in front of a word, or in the course of this article, a whole bunch of words, does not make one sound like an expert. And since when does what a person is famous for actually determine if their fame is real?

The women, like @feliciaday, are all well followed on twitter, but they are also know for more than their tweets. I follow Felicia Day because I am a big fan of The Guild, not because she happens to have a twitter account and tweets alot. Hey, whaddya know, she has an actual honest to goodness career as an actress and she enhances her career through social media. Shouldn't that be celebrated rather than denigrated?

The article then goes on to further discredit these women by calling them "the Internet's equivalent of a telephone chat line staffed by a bunch of cheerleaders". Wow. Where is this hatred coming from? Seriously, what has the internet, and in particular smart, savvy women done to this author...wait a second! Vanity Fair is a print magazine, firmly entrenched in archaic, traditional forms of communication that do not involve the internet and things like twitter or facebook. So if we all embrace the internet and get information from twitter and the folks that effectively communicate there, then what happens to print media? Ah...it goes poof...and I didn't even need to use my Illudim Pew-36 Space Modulator.

Schoolhouse Rock with Dragons, Pirates and Battlestar Galactica

2010-01-06T22:07:00.002-05:00

You never know what you're going to find when you search the internet. I was searching for Schoolhouse Rock because I was trying to remember the lyrics to "Interjections!". First, I found the original which aired on Saturday mornings back in the 70's.....

Then, I found a fantastic parody called "Exclamations" by the Brobdingnagian Bards (could they have a longer name?!) in which they reference fire-breathing dragons, pirates and even Battlestar Galactica. You absolutely must listen to this song. You can also read the lyrics here. Oh, and although they hail from Texas right here in the USA, they proudly wear kilts, which raises the coolness of their whole endeavor by orders of magnitude.

A Ghost, A Werewolf and A Vampire on Being Human

2010-01-01T21:21:00.000-05:00

I heard about Being Human through listeners of The D6 Generation Podcast just after Series 1 finished airing in the UK. The premise sounded great - a vampire, a werewolf and a ghost struggling to lead nice, normal lives, just like us humans. Unfortunately the show wasn't available in the US at the time and all I could do was get a few sneak peeks through the website and hope for a US release. Then, in July, the show made it's way to BBC America and later it even became available on XBox Marketplace.

I watched the first episode and immediately fell in love with the characters. George, the timid werewolf who wants nothing to do with the beast that appears at every full moon. Mitchell, the vampire who craves human blood but resists the urge to drink. And Annie, the sweet ghost that only Mitchell and George can actually see. You're thinking it's been done so many times, why watch it again? Because "Being Human" does it with amazingly sympathetic characters that you end up caring about, believing in, and cheering for in every episode.

The show did very well in the UK and Series 2 starts up on January 10th which means sometime later this year it'll probably be available here in the US, too. And I discovered something interesting while taking a peek at the website. There is going to be a US version. Looks like it's going to be on SyFy and it looks like it's going to be 13 episodes. You'd think I would be thrilled with this news, but not so much. There are shows that have been remade successfully for American audiences (The Office) and then there are shows that have been miserable failures (Coupling). This leaves me a bit worried. My suggestion, check out the UK version of Being Human on XBox Marketplace or iTunes before it gets lost in translation.

Star Wars as The A-Team

2009-12-28T22:29:00.001-05:00

I have a long standing love of Dirk Benedict. It began when he played The One True Starbuck. It continued when he was Faceman on the A-Team. The scene in the credits where the Cylon walks by and he does a double-take gets me every time. They're doing an A-Team movie that's due out next June and he's supposed to make a cameo, which would make me very happy, but June is a long way away, which makes me very sad. Well, I came across this mashup today. It takes the A-Team theme and marries it to scenes from Star Wars. Yeah, I know, he's not in the video, but it's music from his show and scenes from one of my favorite movies ever so it makes me happy just the same.

And the original...there's my Faceman!

Okay, definitely better with Dirk Benedict!

Lyrics for Come See Avatar

2009-12-28T13:53:00.001-05:00

I have been getting requests to post the lyrics so here you go...

Come see Avatar, Cameron's movie
He spent more money than I'll ever see
He made the people blue, look like Smurfs to me
He made Pandora too, it's very pretty, very pretty, very pretty

Friends all tell me this movie's must see. Oh could it be...

But, the story's meh, do not want to see
It's been done before for much less money
Unobtainium are you kidding me
Who approved this script, no writers I see, no writers I see, no writers I see

Then I saw the film, there goes my money
Cameron you thief!

Come See Avatar sung to Little Drummer Boy

2009-12-25T10:25:00.002-05:00

I wrote this up for a contest over on GeekGirlsNetwork and then, because I'm a Geek, I sang it and made a slideshow, too! Yes, I sing off-key. No, I am not going to quit my day job just yet. Merry Christmas!!

The 501st, Darth Vader and the New York Stock Exchange

2009-12-22T21:11:00.000-05:00

I just returned from a family vacation in Walt Disney World. (That's the one in Florida for those of you with no Disney Geek Cred. The other one is Disneyland and it's in California.) The whole family had a wonderful time and since we've been raising our Geeks properly, we all wanted to see the Star Wars ride. First, we took pictures on the Speeder Bike. Next we marveled over the giant AT-AT and then, finally, we rode Star Tours. Afterward, we meandered through the gift shop long enough for my husband to buy a baseball cap that looks like Fett's helmet. It was both completely dorky and oh-my-God cool at the same time. We then exited the gift shop and continued on our way, but this was not the end of my Star Wars experience.

A few days later we took a ride on the monorail after breakfast. (Hey, how cool would it be if you could eat breakfast with Star Wars characters? Must fire off a letter to Disney!) As we were walking down the ramp, I noticed a guy wearing a 501st baseball hat. Cool. Then I noticed his buddy also had a cap. Aw, geeks on vacation. Then I noticed they both had 501st shirts. Wait a minute, did I just ride the monorail with the 501st?! I tried to catch up to them, but due to my kids having kid-sized legs and the two guys moving very quickly, probably because they didn't have to lug all that armor, I missed them. So, you'd think that would be the end of my Star Wars experience. Not quite.

Just a few minutes ago I came across one of the strangest thing I've ever seen. Even stranger than Off Kilter, the guys in kilts that play in the Canada Pavillion in Epcot. (They're actually quite entertaining, but I am flummoxed as to why they are wearing kilts.) What I found was a clip of the NYSE opening this morning and it was Darth Vader and a squad of Clone Troopers ringing the opening bell. The Star Wars logo is all over the place and the Troopers raise their guns in the air as the bell rings with Vader looming by the podium. Then guys in suits shake hands with each other and even with Vader. The official explanation is that the President of Lucas Licensing was there today. Uh-huh. You keep telling yourself that while I pull all my money out of the market. I've got a bad feeling about this...

I Want to Like Avatar...

2009-12-11T22:51:00.000-05:00

I really, really want to like this movie. Really. It opens one week from today and I'd like to think that soon I will be walking out of the movie theater completely amazed and not at all disappointed by my decision to spend an evening watching this film. But the more clips I see and the more reviews I read, the more I think my hopes will be dashed and I will walk out wishing I'd gone to see New Moon instead. Yeah, I'm that doubtful.

First, I think this is going to be just as "visually stunning" as it looks in the clips. There is some amazing CGI in this thing and the views of Pandora, the alien planet, are incredible. But the native Na'vi are striking bright blue creatures and although they are beautifully done, I cannot help but think "CGI" every time they appear. And that's where the problems start for me. The scenery looks fantastic, the Na'vi look like, well, CGI blue creatures. They don't feel real. Especially against backdrops which are so realistic. One clip shows Jake, our Na'vi/Human hero, plummeting over a waterfall. You'd swear the water was real, but there is no doubt that Jake is CGI.

And even if I get past my CGI problems, there are still issues. The poor natives are being attacked by the evil humans and their evil warmachines, which look an awful lot like hybrid 40K/Star Wars constructs. All because we're greedy, money-grubbers and must get to the rich source of Unobtainium within their planet. No, I'm not making a geeky engineering reference, they acutally named the stuff Unobtainium. Seriously. And the chief money-grubber is named Selfridge and the scientist who thinks he's not doing the right thing is named Grace. Ugh.

Now, I could be completely wrong. Maybe I won't think they went overboard trying to amaze me with CGI scenes of alien worlds and slow motion battles between our hero and alien-tiger-monsters. Maybe they won't make this yet another movie trying to convince me that humans are greedy and evil and will happily destroy native cultures for money. Maybe the names won't even sound so ridiculous in the context of the whole movie. Maybe. But, those sparkly vampires are looking pretty good right about now.

The Tenth Doctor, The Guild and Space Invaders

2009-12-03T21:46:00.000-05:00

This is the best time of year to be a geek! No, not because you get to break out your authentic replica Tenth Doctor's Coat (although, damn, that is cool) and not because the cold weather gives you added reason to lay on the couch playing Dragon Age Origins, or Assassins Creed 2 or Brutal Legend. This is the best time of year because of all the online retailers that are suddenly brought to your attention by the lists people make about the coolest, newest, latest and greatest geek stuff available on the internet.

I have put a few of the things I've come across on my Official Christmas List. The Tenth Doctor's coat is on there (Martha's too) and so are these Geeky Cookies. Seriously, who wouldn't want to have some cool geeky nibbles straight out of The Guild? Exactly. And I'm thinking I might buy these Space Invaders Soaps for myself so I can hand them out at the next convention I attend and help stamp out gamer stench. But, here's the truth of it, getting the gifts isn't the best part. It's simply knowing they are out there.

My friends aren't geeks. I'm not saying this to keep them from throwing rotten tomatos at my house if they read this and think I called them names. They really aren't geeks. Okay, one friend and I did spend the better part of an hour at lunch last week talking about "V", but she's the exception. What does this mean? It means that most of the time, I don't have people to share the geek with. No one else "gets it".

Then along come the holidays, and the internet is rife with geeky gifts. People post links (just like I did) and talk about these products on Twitter or Facebook or on any number of Sci-Fi sites. And you know what this does? It lets us all know that we aren't the only one. Someone else thinks cookies shaped like Codex's staff are cool. Or the soap with a d20 inside or the sleeping bag made to look like a Tauntaun. Someone else "gets it". It's the best time of year to be a Geek!

Planet 51 and B-Movie Science Fiction

2009-11-28T23:07:00.001-05:00

It was Thanksgiving in the US last Thursday. This is a huge holiday that gives us all a really good excuse to eat as much food in one sitting as we should only rightfully consume in about a week. Once we've eaten our fill of turkey and pumpkin pie, grabbed all the best Black Friday deals, and endured the annoying relatives we've been avoiding since last year (not me of course, I love my whole family, really) we get kinda bored. And that usually means a trip to the movies.

Since I have two young girls, my options are somewhat limited but, truthfully, there weren't a heck of a lot of choices even without the kids. 2012? You've seen one disaster flick, you've seen them all. Twilight? It's the big movie of the moment but, well, you read this blog so you know how likely it is that I'm going to pay to see that sparklefest. One movie that did seem like a good choice was Planet 51. Also, it started just half an hour after we'd made the decision to go to a movie in the first place so the timing was perfect. My expectations were not high, though, because I'd heard it was only so-so from my friends. I was about two minutes into the movie when I figured out I'd been listening to the wrong friends.

You see, the friends who'd said it was just okay, weren't geeks. They wouldn't be able to tell you the difference between Dr. Who and Dr. Horrible if their lives depended on it. I, however, know that Dr. Who is a Time Lord coming up on his Eleventh Incarnation and I may cry when I have to say goodbye to the Tenth Doctor. Dr. Horrible, on the other hand, is entirely human and can be reached by contacting The Evil League of Evil. See, they don't know that, so the best humor in this movie went right past them. There was plenty for the kids to like. The aliens are cute and silly, their dogs are alien-hybrid things with suction cup tongues that stick to everything, and there are hover cars and gags aplenty that will appeal to everyone. But the best parts of the movie were the jokes you only got if you'd watched old school science fiction.

You know, the stuff that was filmed in black and white back in the 50's. Movies where the army attacks the giant spaceship with their puny guns and then the spaceship zaps them to ash with their death ray. Or where the aliens are trying to eat our brains. Or take over the world! The funny here is that the planet with the aliens is visited by a human astronaut, making us the aliens visiting a planet of little green people living in their version of the 50's. I laughed so hard a few times that the woman at the next table gave me dirty looks. Bah! Come on, the little green aliens had manuals on how to deal with catastrophes like Giant Ants and 50ft Women...with covers that looked just like the our movies!

The B-movie references came so fast and furious, I found myself wishing I could press the rewind button and see them again. And while the kids were laughing at the astronaut bumbling around an alien planet trying to hide, I couldn't stop laughing at the aliens showing up for a sci-fi movie premier dressed in costume. Not that I would ever do something that silly. Those of us raised on cheesy television (anyone remember Creature Double Feature?) will love the shout-outs to movies like Them! and Attack of the 50ft Woman. In fact, the more of a sci-fi geek you are, the more you're going to laugh. So, if you thought this movie was just for kids, go grab that foil hat to protect yourself from mind control probes and get to the theater!

A Methuselah by Any Other Name Is Still a Vampire

2009-11-19T22:42:00.001-05:00

I'm watching Castle on Hulu right now. (Hurray for Captain Tightpants!) If you've watched much Hulu, then you know the ads tend to run toward out-dated, poorly produced PSA's. There's one with a man-pig to teach us all to save our pennies. Ugh. I sort of want to go out and blow all my money just to spite that creature. Well, tonight's commercial was a new one. It started with geeks of the past, like Marie Curie, moved on to geeks of the present, like Bill Gates, and ended with geeks of the future. I didn't recognize the future geeks because their greatness is yet to come, but they did all look appropriately geeky with a slightly frazzled, overworked vibe.

The ad ended with a reference to something called the Mprize and suggested a visit to their website. Since these guys chose not to use a creepy man-pig to get their point across, I popped open my handy dandy netbook (Ah, I do miss Blue's Clues) and headed over to http://www.mprize.org/. Do you know the first thing I noticed? Not the rows of test tubes, or the picture of Albert Einstein and other assorted geeks, but the name of the group that is sponsoring the Mprize. It's called the Methuselah Foundation, and as anyone who has ever played Vampire: The Masquerade knows, the Methuselahs are super powerful, manipulative vampires who are best avoided. Who the heck picked that name?!

I read up on the Mprize and found out that it's a big chunk of change that will be awarded to ubergeeks who can prove their mouse has lived longer than any other mouse on the planet. It seems to involve messing with genetics to help humans live longer. Great idea. Definitely reward worthy. Still, the whole vampire thing makes me suspicous. What could they be planning? The methuselahs have plans within plans within plans... So, here's my own personal PSA for those of you looking to start a fancy, shmancy foundation with a big prize for some insanely difficult task.

Do your reserach before you pick a name. Thoroughly. Otherwise, you run the risk of naming your group after a bunch of ancient vampires whose sole goal is to rule the human race, treating us like cattle who are here only for their amusement and perhaps a light snack. Unless, of course, you really are running a corporation for a secret society of actual vampires whose real interest is not our longevity, but mastery of our genetics so they can make us more susceptible to their influence and fill the world with mindless slaves to do their bidding. In which case, I should be running and hiding right about now.....

Wil Wheaton, Pumpkin Pie and Why I Love Twitter!

2009-11-16T21:47:00.001-05:00

As a card carrying Sci-Fi Geek (seriously, there's a card, it's in my wallet) I have watched a lot of Star Trek over the years.  It started with the original, which I watched as a kid with my Dad, and moved right on up through Enterprise, which I watched as an adult with my husband. That's a lot of hours happily spent watching Klingons overreact, Vulcans underreact, and Deanna Troi state the obvious as though it's big news. "Captain, I sense hostility from the aliens that just fired on us."  No. Way. Thanks, Deanna.

And like all true fans, I argue about what I love and hate about the franchise. Which series, or episode, or character was the best? Or how about the worst? Admit it. You've done it, too. Maybe you think Spock's Brain was the worst episode ever or you'll go to your grave swearing that Deep Space Nine puts the rest to shame. And, of course, there is the ever popular opinion that Wesley was nothing but an annoying brat ...whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold the warp drives people. I'm gonna say it. I liked Wesley Crusher.

It was 1987 when Star Trek: The Next Generation hit the airwaves and I pretty much liked it from the start, men in skirts aside. I was, at the time, a teenaged girl and I thought Wesley was awesome. He was a teenager and he was on the Enterprise. And he was cute. Hey, as a teenaged girl, cute was an important factor in my "how-much-do-I-like-this-show" ratings system.  I grew attached to Wesley and really wanted to see a happily ever after for him when the series closed, but I didn't really get it. I was sad. But I moved on.

Years went by. The internet was born.  w00t! Twitter was invented. And now the story continues.  I setup a Twitter account because I heard it was the new big thing. Everyone was tweeting and if you didn't know what that meant, shame on you. Now who to follow?  I searched for and followed my friends.  Next it was authors and actors from my favorite shows.  This is how I discovered ~~Wesley~~ Wil Wheaton. I learned that he didn't just play a geek on tv, but that he is an actual, real-life geek, too. He has a blog, writes books, acts and is damned funny. He also makes a killer pumpkin pie judging from his latest tweets. I know all this only because I follow him on Twitter. Now, I know he's not Wesley, but it brings a little bit of happy into my world to see that the guy that played him is still out there. Just a geek making pie. Thanks Twitter, for the happily ever after.  Tweet long, and prosper.

V and How to Survive the Invasion

2009-11-09T13:40:00.000-05:00

I have watched about a gazillion hours of science fiction. Classic and new. TV and movies. The good, the bad, and the cheesy (Can I get a hell yeah for Mystery Science Theater 3000). I watch it because I would love to fly in a spaceship and plan on being prepared if the opportunity ever presents itself. But I will be cautious when that first ship arrives. See, I've learned some really useful tidbits watching all this sci-fi.  I'm not talking about stuff you can learn from a textbook or from some ace instructor. No, I'm talking about the stuff that keeps you from being blown to bits, eaten by lizard people, or shot out an airlock.

This occurred to me while watching the pilot for "V" last night. Gigantic spaceships descend toward Earth, rattling windows and knocking down poorly secured bookshelves. Everyone rushes to their windows, or into the streets or up onto rooftops for a better view. In the midst of this frenzy, two random guys on the street are interviewed by a reporter and they comment that it's just like the movie Independence Day. Ya think? Then what the %#^$% are you doing standing under the spaceship?

Rule #1 Do not stand directly beneath an alien spaceship. If an alien spaceship appears in the sky, run away, or at least get out of the street. Otherwise, The Deadly Laser Beam of Death will blast you to smithereens or you will be chosen as one of their first abductees and ground into chow. Which leads us to the next rule.

Rule #2 If possible, ask the aliens for a copy of their bestselling cookbook. If they say no, then it's time to revisit Rule #1 and get the heck out of Dodge. They aren't hiding their cookbooks because they don't want to share their favorite recipe for Chicken Soup. They're hiding them because their favorite recipe is actually Human Soup. Do not be fooled by their happy, smiling faces, which leads us to....

Rule #3 The sexier the alien, the greater the chance that she will kill you and eat you for dinner or possibly feed you to her children.  Aliens are smart. They've sent scouts down here to figure us out in advance of their invasion. They know that if they're sexy, then we will be less likely to shoot them.  When the Visitor leader appears (Morena Baccarin from my beloved Firefly) everyone looks up and thinks...ohhh, pretty...not...shoooot! They should be thinking shoot.

Simply by following these first three Rules of Alien Engagement your chances of surviving will increase by the very scientific estimate of a whole frakkin' lot. The two guys that said it was just like Independence Day at the beginning of "V" also complained that the movie was a "ripoff off any number of alien invasion movies". Yup, and in those movies, the aliens are out to roast you, or enslave you, or generally pillage Earth. Those two guys should know better.  If, like them, you were unaware of these rules, now you know.  You can thank me when the Visitors arrive and you aren't served for dinner.

Slithy Toves and Harry Dresden

2009-11-05T22:48:00.001-05:00

I once memorized Jabberwocky in it's entirety for a test grade in school. I also memorized and then had to recite the prologue to The Canterbury Tales in Middle English. I still don't know what these assignments were supposed to do to help me on my way in the world. I know what they actually did do, which was to create in me a deep dislike for reading anything not easily pronounced.

So, you think, what's the big deal? Well, I like to read, and it's science fiction, fantasy and the supernatural that I crave.  Supernatural stories are pretty easy. Aside from the odd ancient vampire who was once a member of the aristocracy or an Egyptian high priestess, the names are fairly straightforward.  Sci-Fi names are a bit trickier, but unless you're trying to actually understand Wookie or Klingon, you can usually muddle through.  Then there's Fantasy. Oh. My. God.

Why, why, why must all the names in Fantasy novels be utterly impossible to pronounce unless you actually grew up in the world in the book? Hmmmm? Anyone have an answer? I have picked up books, read the jackets, and put them down almost instantly because I could only mange every fifth word. Words like "the" and "a" and usually "sword". And what is with the overuse of punctuation? Ins'ert'ing random apos'tro'phes or the exce-ssive use of hy-phens does not make me want to keep reading. And do not even get me started on letter combinations that just do not even work in the English language.  Don't call your new land Ghar'qk because it looks cool. Call it something my brain can say...Gark, or Hark or, oh, I have no idea, which is the whole problem.

Now, not all fantasy novels suffer from the pitfalls of "Not English". There's a certain wizard out there with a wholly fleshed out urban fantasy world full of all manner of fantasy beastie and I can pronounce every word. Harry Dresden. Rolls right off the tongue. No unnecessary punctuation or weird letter combinations. That's why I've read ever book in Jim Butcher's The Dresden Files and cannot wait for the next in the series. Okay, that and the desire to see just how much trouble Harry manages to find in the next book. If only I could say the same thing about the book I just put down. And no, I won't tell you what it was called.  Actually, I can't because in truth I flung the stupid thing across the living room in frustration and it's now firmly wedged behind the couch. Oops.

~~To'Tal F-An Gir'L~~ Total Fan Girl

Browncoats, Castle and Nathan Fillion

2009-11-04T22:12:00.000-05:00

We ditched cable about a year ago. It happened for two reasons. First, we got yet another notice about how the cost was going up and we were going to get all sorts of new nothing. Second, my husband is an engineer and an IT guy. In his universe everything can be fixed with CAT-5 and/or duct tape.  I was skeptical. If you know any engineers or IT guys and especially if you live with one, you understand that the "simple upgrade" is very often neither. But, my frugal side won over my fears and I gave him the okay.  I later discovered my okay somehow involved the purchase of a new tv and an Xbox. I felt ever so slightly conned, but it did work, so that was something.

One of the problems with ditching cable is that you don't always know when potentially really cool shows are coming out because you don't see the commercials or entertainment shows. It was a bit distressing at first, but the internet is a marvelous little invention and I have overcome that obstacle. I've now discovered more than a few shows that I somehow missed along the way and have happily added them to my Netflix queue and watched whole seasons in a few weeks.  Leverage and The Big Bang Theory are my latest finds. (How I missed an awesomely geeky show like The Big Bang Theory to begin with, I have no clue!)

Twitter is one great way to find out about new shows.  Follow people you find interesting and they usually post stuff you'll find interesting, like shows they watch. Or maybe shows they are in. One of the people I follow is Nathan Fillion. Oh, how I miss Mal and his space cowboy ways. I loved Firefly. Russ and I dressed as Mal and Zoe for Halloween this year. Yup, call me a geek, but dude, you wear cool coats, fly cool ships and walk around with a gun strapped to your hip. How could anyone not love that show?! After losing Mal to cancellation (gorram network) Nathan pops back up as Captain Hammer. Excellent! Not a series though. Bummer.  But wait, what is this show Castle he just mentioned on Twitter?

It is my favorite-new-show-of-the-moment-and-possibly-the-decade, that's what. Nathan plays the title character, Richard Castle, a bestselling novelist who annoys the daylights out of Detective Kate Beckett as he follows her around to get material for his books. She works in homicide, but this is not CSI. This is fun, people! Nathan, er, Castle, is witty, narcissistic, charming, cocky, handsome and ridiculously fun to watch. You spend half the show wanting to slap him and the other half wanting to hug him.  And in the Halloween episode....wait for it...yea for Cap'n Tightpants! He dons his trademark brown coat complete with suspenders, boots and gun.  Mal may be gone, but Nathan still brings it as Richard Castle. Now if he could just work the coat, suspenders and gun into more episodes, it'd be a perfect shiny world.