Monday, September 19, 2011

Pirates vs. Ninjas



Argh, Matey! Hoist the main, swab the deck, shiver me timbers and...okay that's all I've got for Talk Like a Pirate Day. I will return to plain old English until my kids get home and I break out my best Captain Jack Sparrow impersonation, minus the rum. Oh, and I've also changed my Facebook language to English (pirate) which you should all do right now because it really will make you giggle on a Monday. As I watched all my friends post piratey updates I started thinking about one of the biggest rivalries of all time. Not Star Wars vs Star Trek. Not even Kirk vs Picard. I'm talking about Pirates vs Ninjas.


I've had this debate with more than a few people over the years. I took Tae Kwon Do for awhile and let me tell you, they were darn convinced it would be Ninjas but since there is no school for learning Pirate there was never actually a way to test this theory. I even know this writer who is an honest to goodness Ninja, really, so getting a Ninja to partake in this argument is easy. But what about pirates? Where the heck are they hiding? I thought the Ninjas were the stealthy ones but they seem to be everywhere these days. So, I'm giving a point to Pirates for being stealthier and being nearly impossible to find.

Now let's talk weapons. Ninjas are the weapon with deadly hands and feet and the ability to kill you with their pinkies. I don't know this for sure, but it feels like it should be true so I'm going with it. They've also got those fancy throwing stars, and nun chucks and harmless looking sticks that can knock you out cold. Pirates, well, they've got swords, and guns but Ninjas are speedy quick so I'm betting they'd be tough to hit. I'm going to have to say that Ninjas get the point for ridiculously cool weapons.

On the other hand, Pirates undoubtedly have a better "look" than Ninjas. They've got snazzy hats and fancy shirts and eye patches. Okay, maybe the eye patches are a drawback if it means you lost an eye because of a stray splinter flying from a cannon ball smashing through the deck, but according to Mythbusters there are actually practical uses for an eye patch so it also shows that pirates are smart. Ninjas just get basic black so it's no contest that this point goes to pirates.
This puts Pirates in the lead, but I can end the argument once and for all right now. As much as I want to give this to the Ninjas and realize that one may now sneak up on my in the dead of night and kill me with his pinkie, it has to be Pirates. Why? Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day. There's no such thing as Talk Like a Ninja Day. There's not even a Be Stealthy Like a Ninja Day. Aye, if ye be good enough to get a whole day to yerselves, then ye must be the better mate. Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!

2 comments:

  1. Every time the Ninjas v. Pirates discussion comes up, I'm reminded of this Nodwick comic: http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/nodwick/gamespyarchive/gspynod176.html

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  2. I happen to think the basic black look is very stylish *huffily turns up nose*

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