Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Where's My Jet Pack?
water jet pack thing ever. All I could think of were those clips you see on the news when they have no actual news and instead they show scenes of a surfing squirrel to fill the time. Only this was worse. You're attached to a giant hose and water shoots out of the jets as you zoom through the air. At first glance this guy looks like he's someone's nemesis. "I am WaterJetMan and I am here to destroy you and rule the world with my evil jet pack of watery evil! Mwah ha ha ha!" Really, it's that silly and it's not at all useful and I would not be able to wear my silver jumpsuit. Fail.
So I kept searching and found some equally ridiculous options. There are some with wings that fold along your back and then pop out when you're ready to launch. Add a little purple and green paint and you'd look just like Buzz Lightyear. Now, I love Buzz as much as the next girl, but I don't want to look like him while flying my jet pack. And there are more than a few that have been created by the military and enthusiasts with extra time on their hands and a few dollars in their pockets. In fact, a bunch of these inventors ended up getting contracts to develop these specifically for the military. They'd make a prototype or two, and then the military would declare the product impractical and it'd disappear. Wait a minute. The military is collecting all the best minds in the field of jet pack development and hoarding their skills on secret projects! A government conspiracy is crushing my childhood dreams. Somewhere there's a real James Bond escaping a real Dr. No...and he has my jet pack!