Color Me Geek

I got my nails done a few days ago.  Yeah, I know you're jumping up and down at this news but stick with me for a minute.  The first thing you get to do when you go in for a manicure is pick out a polish which is a daunting task when there are roughly four gazillion shades.  I pick a color then flip it over to see it's called something like Tutti Fruitti Tonga or Kiss on the Chic and I just know there is now way I can possibly walk around with that color on my nails.  No one else may know what it's called, but I will and I'll feel like an idiot.  Nothing kills your inner credibility like looking down at your hands and thinking "I'm wearing Aphrodite's Pink Nightie" (I am not making this up, people, these are real names!)

After I left the salon, I managed to smudge a nail about thirty seconds after I got in the car, which is absolutely maddening.  I arrived home cranky and a bit stabby at the world over my now imperfect manicure and then a light bulb went off in my head and I ran downstairs to my husband's painting table.  He's a gamer.  He paints toy soldiers models and he has a million different paints.  I glanced through the impressive selection and came up with a possible solution to hide the little imperfection.  I tried it and it worked!  Then I looked at the name on the bottle.  I had just painted my nail with Midlund Flesh.  I started laughing so hard I nearly wrecked the nail I had just fixed.

Then I started looking at the names on the other bottles and they said things like Beaten Purple and Pig Iron and Brass Balls. Now those are some names!  I wish there were polishes with names like that just so I could say "Oh, I'm wearing Brass Balls today." or "Yup, isn't Beaten Purple the most beautiful shade?" Just think of the possibilities for all the Geeks out there.  We could have Dark Knight instead of black, Thor's Hammer instead of silver and what about Hoth White or Lightsaber Blue?  Unfortunately, I have never seen anything but cutesy, sing-song names involving cotton candy and sparkles on bottles of nail polish.  If only a Geek with some mad science skills could make this happen.  Imagine the possibilities.   Red Shirt Red, Dagobah Green, TARDIS Blue....