Tuesday, November 2, 2010

If Superheroes Were Politicians...

It's election day here in the US which means we're heading out to the polls past smiling supporters holding signs, past bake sale tables full of treats and past reporters full of questions.  Once we've run the gauntlet we head into little booths draped with red, white and blue privacy curtains so we can fill in the ovals and elect our favorite candidates.  At least, that's what we all hope.  A lot of us our filling in a little oval for someone who's going to be congratulating the person he was slinging mud at earlier today.  The arguing and finger-pointing and trying to convince everyone that you're the best candidate and that the other guy is incompetent ends in a nice little speech and a forced smile.  It's so predictable and boring, but what if there were superheroes on the ballot?

Instead of men and women in tailored suits and perfectly coiffed hair, we'd have capes, and spandex and high-heeled boots.  Superheroes wouldn't need an entourage of folks to make them look good or designers creating the perfect outfit to suggest strength and conviction and patriotism.  Hey, if you're wearing red, white and blue spandex and a cape, or carrying a shield with a star emblazoned on the front, I think you've got that angle covered.  And imagine how much taxpayers would save on security costs.  No more men in black clearing a path to the podium or holding back the crowds. (Unless, you know, they're the ones that don't exist, but really do, and they're probably more preoccupied with aliens than politicians.)  Superheroes are there own security team and depending on their skills, they can fly right into a debate, no security required.

Speaking of debates, being a superhero would bring a totally new angle to the same old questions that get asked year after year.  Instead of a long list of what they've voted for and against we'd get a list of things they've actually done.  It could be..."I stopped a jet from crashing to the ground in the Ice Storm of 2010." or "Well, I stopped a tidal wave from wiping out the East Coast!"  These candidates wouldn't just bring ideas and motivating speeches, they would bring action.  Imagine how useful Superman would be in rebuilding a storm ravaged town?  Or Aquaman during an oil spill?  Exactly.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, imagine how cool it would be to support one of these superhero candidates.  Get rid of the button on your lapel.  Don't bother with that bumper sticker.  And forget about the boring yard signs.  There is only one way to show your complete and utter devotion to your favorite superhero candidate. That's right, it's time to break out the Cosplay!

1 comment:

  1. As cool as it would be we would also have to allow in super villains. Also look at the alien factor. How is the John, Martian Man Hunter supposed to show his birth certificate. Don't get me started about off world money coming into campaigns or fake terror alerts on the day before the election to boost/lower turnout.

    I do like the costume idea though. I guess that is real reason for having elections in November instead of October.

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