Tuesday, August 17, 2010

If You're Lucky, You'll Marry a Gamer

My husband is a Gamer.  A huge, ginormous, big-time Gamer.  If the house caught fire, he'd make sure the kids and I were safe, then risk his life to go back in and save his minis and dice bag.  I consider myself a Gamer too, but more by association than out of my own volition.  Until I started dating him I only played mainstream games.  It wasn't because I didn't want to play anything else, I simply wasn't aware of games beyond the local toy store.  He was the one that introduced me to DnD and convinced me to play.  It is because of him that I know how to paint a mini, and if not for his gaming addiction I'd never have known that dice came with more than six sides.

There are some drawbacks to being married to a gamer that are well known and much discussed by what I like to call Gamer Widows, myself included.  Our husbands run off to play games till all hours and we only find out they made it home alive when we see them passed out next to us in the morning.  There is the danger of having paint pots spilled all over the carpet, and the wall, and the curtains.  (Will somebody please design a spill-proof paint pot?  They have sippy cups for toddlers can't they help out fumble fingered Gamers?)  There are often dangerous metal bits left on the floor to stab your feet and destroy your vacuum.  Lawns can become overgrown, children may go unfed, and the phone may go unanswered, but they WILL be ready for their game night.  What no one ever mentions, are all the bonuses that come from being married to a Gamer.

For example, Gamers have mad math skills.  Seriously.  Have you ever watched the amount of concentration that goes into creating the perfect army list, with just the right combination of troops, armed in just the right way to beat every opponent while staying within the point limits of a game?  Or what about the allocation of points to different skills when creating characters for an RPG?  Their ability to number crunch is unparalleled.  This comes in handy when you have to split the check when you're out with friends.  Hand it to a Gamer and in two seconds flat he'll have it divided eight ways including varying tip percentages.  Trying to figure out the best deal when shopping for, well, anything?  He can figure it out in less time than it takes you to find someone who works there and ask for help.  Kids stuck on their math homework?  He's your man.  Mad. Math. Skills. 

Gamers can fix stuff.  I'm not talking about things like your car which you can take to a professional for repair.  I'm talking about stuff like that ceramic horse you made at camp when you were ten.  A guy that can spend an entire evening working with green stuff to fashion a seamless connection between a hand and a sword on a mini can glue that horse back together and hide the damage like you wouldn't believe.  This skill is also invaluable in repairing Christmas ornaments, chipped bowls and toys.  My kids break something precious and their first reaction after their tears dry is to set it aside for Dad to fix when he gets home.  Not all superheroes wear capes.  Some of them wear black t-shirts and carry a bottle of superglue in their back pocket.

Also, Gamers put a guy like Van Gogh to shame.  Sure, he made all this fancy shmancy artwork and it's hanging on the walls of museums around the world.  He even spent some time with The Doctor and helped save the universe, but I bet he never managed to blend a bit of Snot Green and Skull White to perfectly match the paint in the kitchen and hide a scuff on the wall.  A Gamer armed with a fine detail brush and one of those little mixing trays that look like it should be holding escargot (you know they do) can match any paint color in existence.  And if the world ever comes to an end, or a war breaks out, or the zombie apocalypse happens, then you want a guy who has played Pandemic and Halo on your side.

So the next time you find yourself criticizing the Gamer in your life for spending too much time gaming, remember he's developing some seriously important life skills that you're going to need someday.

9 comments:

  1. I do love my gamer. Of course, I've got the math skills in our relationship (scientist, you know!). I have noticed another one though: I know my husband will be a great father because if he takes care of the kid half as well as he takes care of the game systems and DVDs and Magic cards (all things I'm not usually allowed to touch) they will be well taken care of!

    Rosalind
    Girls Are Geeks

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  2. I must add... duct taper extraordinaire!
    I'm with you on this one. I'm a gamer myself, maybe not as hardcore, and I have learned to love the little oddities that make up a geek household XD
    BTW, home projects tend to pile up with the lead and other to-do's. I guess it's our personal life insurance, though.

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  3. You're right on the mark! And their appreciation for their own toys makes them very sympathetic to their kids toys.

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  4. How could I forget the Duct Tape?! It's a staple item for any Geek/Gamer as it fixes, well, everything.

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  5. My husband isn't quite that kind of gamer (Travian addict right now) so he lacks the art skills but totally on with the math skills! I'm the math geek but he's FAST with math!

    I've always told everyone that I love being married to a geek because I feel like he's always amazed that a real woman he's attracted to is in love with him. Do you know what that makes me? A goddess!

    :-)

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  6. I definitely hope I find a gamer. I could never worry about being a gamer widow though, I'd be playing right along with him.

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  7. i will DEFINITELY be safe if we're ever attacked in the starcraft universe. he should be diamond any day now seeing as he hit 1 on his platinum server. Of course then i'm going to have bug shit all over my stuff and he'll finally be appreciative of how good i am at cleaning.

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  8. I have to admit, I do feel guilty about the lawn.... But the boys DO get fed (because they can operate the microwave....

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